


help! i think i'm falling for you

by DevilishKurumi



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, this is just terrible, wherein nobody's fooled by dave's coolkid persona
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-05
Updated: 2012-04-05
Packaged: 2017-11-03 02:28:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/376085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DevilishKurumi/pseuds/DevilishKurumi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What he can't understand is why Dave had kicked his shin a few times during dinner, or how Dave's back can be so knotted that he keeps having to stretch his arms high over his head to crack his back.  (He hasn't heard it crack once!)"<br/>spur of the moment ficlet written solely to write dave being a complete dork. seriously it's not that great i just wanted to write dumbass kids.</p>
            </blockquote>





	help! i think i'm falling for you

            When Dave asks John out, it comes on the tail end of a joke that goes a little too far over his head.  It sounds like it might be part of the joke itself, and so he laughs at it for a bit until he realizes Dave isn't responding to his messages.  Hesitantly, John waits a moment or two before asking, _wait were you being serious?_

            Dave doesn't reply for almost two minutes before saying, _well yeah i was but if youre just going to laugh at me while im getting a drink then maybe ill just treat my dashing self to a movie and dinner without you_.

            Dinner and a movie turns out to be IHOP and _Season of the Witch_ back at Dave's.  John can't help but be impressed by the fact that Dave's actively trying to please him with a Nicholas Cage movie, even though he can't keep himself from making a few sarcastic quips.  They're not too harsh and honestly, John can kind of understand them.

            What he can't understand is why Dave had kicked his shin a few times during dinner, or how Dave's back can be so knotted that he keeps having to stretch his arms high over his head to crack his back.  (He hasn't heard it crack _once_.)  He can't understand why he agreed to this, either; the two of them hang out all the time, and they basically do this exact thing without it being a _date_.  But he hadn't hesitated once Dave had clarified that he hadn't been joking.  He hadn't thought twice about it, despite how he always said he wasn't gay.

            Dave's hand brushes his shoulder as it comes back down (for the fifth time, jeeze, Dave, is your back that messed up?) and John feels weird loop-de-loops going on in his stomach.  "Is your back really that messed up?" he asks, hiccupping the question mark when Dave looks at him.  Gosh, they're really close, and it's that fact out of all the others that cements the idea that this _isn't_ just like every other time they've hung out.

            "Nah," he says, and John can see pink tinge Dave's ears as he looks away.

            "Oh.  Okay."  They sit in silence for a few more minutes, suffering through some kind of sad dialogue, and then John gets a sudden epiphany.  "Oh!"  He grins and looks at Dave, who raises an eyebrow without looking at him.  "Your back isn't even the problem, is it.  You're totally just trying to put the moves on me!"

            "Psh.  What?  No."

            Dave sounds ridiculously unconvincing, and John's grin turns sly.  "Oh, you totally are.  You're just failing really hard at it because you're a total dork."

            "Look who's talking, Egderp.  You're the dorkiest dude I know.  You're practically Ned Flanders levels of total dorkitude, you're so Urkel that even Carlton would be embarrassed to hang out with you."

            "None of those characters are even from the same show."

            "That just makes it so much worse."

            John giggles behind his hand, watching out of the corner of his eye as Dave's ear gets pinker and pinker.  Finally, he rolls his shoulders, clasps his hands together and raises them up over his head, stretching out his back.  He can only barely tell that Dave's tensed up at the move - even though he knows his friend is a complete dork, John also knows that Dave's got a pretty goddamn good pokerface when he wants one.

            He hesitates, arms up above his head, wondering if this is such a good idea - and then he drops them down, one landing by his side while his other arm drapes over Dave's shoulders.  Well, not really drapes - it's more like it kind of flops across his shoulders with a heavy _whump_ and enough force to make Dave wince.

            "Jeeze, dude, a little heavy-handed there, aren't you?"

            John laughs at his (hopefully intentional) pun and Dave relaxes under his arm, his neck resting almost against his elbow as he shifts a little bit closer.  It feels weird at first, but within five minutes John's abandoned the awkward tension in favor for dropping his head against Dave's shoulder.  He's actually pretty surprised that they haven't done this sooner, now that he's used to it.  It feels nice - and strangely _normal_.

            Dave's hand moves and falls boldly onto John's thigh; he doesn't care, never mind what the twisting flip in his gut says.  It squeezes, and he swallows.  When Dave tilts his head and lays a strangely soft kiss to the top of John's head, his breath hitches and he wonders if _this_ is going to be too much.  But it feels so nice, and Dave's so comfortable, and hey, bros can date each other.  That doesn't make them less than bros - if anything, it just makes them _more_.

            Dave shifts away when the credits start to roll, and John realizes he really has no idea what was going on in that movie for the last half of it.  He leans away himself, lifting his head to look at Dave, to tell him _hey, yeah, good idea, dating, let's do that more_ , but Dave, in traditional Strider fashion, has bonked his shades against John's glasses and is kissing his top lip.  John bursts out laughing and Dave pulls away, scowling.

            " _Smooooooooth_ , Dave."

            "Wow, shut up."

            John can't stop grinning, even when Dave tries to kiss him again and finds his mark, pressing his mouth against John's - and despite Dave being awkward and hesitant and anxious as all get out, he can _definitely_ kiss.  His lips are kind of chapped and thinner than John's, but they're pliant and sure and it only takes Dave about a minute to convince John to open his mouth and deepen the kiss.

            John leans forward, then pushes, and Dave winds up with his back against the arm of the sofa, his legs pinned beneath John's awkwardly, but neither of them really care.  John feels a rumble in Dave's throat as he groans, and John grins and pulls Dave's lower lip between his teeth.  He does it too hard, and Dave hisses, pushing at him until he lightens up.

            Dave's arms wrap around John, pulling him closer, closing the gap as his hands rest on John's backside and squeeze.  He yelps and tugs away a little, aghast.  "You know I've got a Striderly disposition," Dave says, as if it's all the explanation he needs.  "Can't get enough of the rump."  John wants to try and protest, to say maybe that's too far, but then Dave's mouth finds his earlobe and it's definitely not too far.

            "Just don't try to puncture it with your gross nails," John replies, hoarse, tilting his head whichever way will give Dave better access to his ear and, eventually, his neck.  A hand pushes John's shirt up his back, fingers trailing after the hemline, up his spine, pressing here and there and playing him like a record.  Which isn't surprising, since it's Dave, but still -

            John bends his knees and lets out a squeak when their torsos press together from chest to thigh.  He can feel Dave arch under him, and his mouth presses kisses to Dave's neck.  Just when he's wondering if this is where the term _necking_ came from, Dave rolls his hips, pivoting under John enough for him to roll them over. 

            John laughs and yelps as Dave shifts their positions, rocking his body to the side, his knees twisting and his legs flailing a little as he does it, and John thinks it's absolutely adorable, right up until Dave's momentum takes him a little too far and he slides right off of John and the couch.  Even that's funny, until he hears a sharp _smack_ as the back of Dave's head catches the corner of the coffee table, snapping one of the arms of his shades off his ear and sending the eyewear clacking to the ground.

            "Holy shit, are you okay?!"

            Dave doesn't respond right away, just groans with his face planted to the carpet, and John tries very hard not to laugh.  He manages to keep it in with his hands until he hears Dave say, " _Ow_."

            The floodgates crash apart and John howls with laughter, falling off the couch himself and winding up next to Dave, which is how he first notices the big gash in Dave's scalp and the massive amount of blood welling up into his hair.  "Oh, shit," he says, unable to stop laughing even now, especially because Dave is trying to push himself up, scowling and blushing practically scarlet.

            "Dude," he snaps, "Don't laugh, it's not funny."

            "It's fucking hilarious!" John cries, but he forces his laughter down so that he can push Dave's head to the side, looking at the cut.  "Oh, wow," he says, sobering up just a bit, "I think you might need stitches, dude, this is really bad."

            "Ugh," Dave mutters.  But he doesn't protest when John pulls him up, nor does he protest when John makes him lean against him for support, because he's wobbling and probably has a bit of a concussion.

            He does scowl and complain and bitch as John drives him to the Emergency Room, and he blushes throughout the whole ordeal at the hospital.

            Thankfully, it's not too severe, and they give him some painkillers.  They won't do anything for Dave's ego, John knows, because that's irrevocably damaged, but that's not so big a deal.

            When they get back to John's place, Dave looks sullen and mortified - without his shades, it's impossible for him to hide his expressions - and so John decides to reward him for his efforts, however misguided they might've been.

            Dave certainly doesn't complain when John pushes him back onto the couch, settles between his knees, and proceeds to use his mouth for better things than laughing at his best friend's misfortune.  John knows that there's not enough blowjobs in the world that'll repair the damage done to Dave's reputation - but still, it's worth a shot.


End file.
